Identity

An Essay by Adam Niall

Identity is one of, if not the most powerful force that shapes our lives. It gives us purpose, direction, and a sense of belonging. It’s the lens through which we view the world and ourselves. 

This identity can also be a double-edged sword. 

When we tie it to external achievements, roles, or fleeting attributes, we leave ourselves vulnerable to loss and uncertainty. 

I’ve learned this the hard way.

My identity was once rooted entirely in being a strongman, a competitor, an athlete, someone who thrived on strength and performance. When injuries took that away, I didn’t just lose my ability to lift heavy… I lost myself. What I’ve come to realize, though, is that this isn’t something that happens just once. Life will continue to test your identity, taking away things you thought defined you. It’s why rooting your identity in your soul instead is essential.

Identity is powerful because it gives us a foundation. It helps us make decisions, face challenges, and build meaningful connections. When you know who you are, you can navigate life with purpose and confidence. All too often this identity is rooted and connected to things that aren’t actually who we are as a person. 

For me, being a strongman was more than just a hobby or a sport. It was “who I was.” Training, competing, and pushing my limits gave me focus. Every lift, every competition, every goal met reinforced that identity. It gave me pride and a sense of accomplishment.

But identity is only as strong as the foundation it’s built on. When that foundation is tied to something external—like a job, a relationship, your looks, or your achievements—it becomes fragile. These things can change, and when they do, the identity you’ve built around them can collapse.

I experienced this fragility firsthand when an injury ended my strongman career. Suddenly, I couldn’t train, I couldn’t compete, and the one thing that gave my life structure and meaning was gone. At first, I tried to brush it off, telling myself it was temporary. But as the months dragged on and my physical progress disappeared, so did my sense of self. Without strongman, I didn’t know who I was.

That uncertainty opened the door to depression. I tried to numb the emptiness with alcohol and drugs, hoping to fill the void left by losing what I thought defined me. The harder I tried to escape, the more lost I felt. I wasn’t just mourning the loss of my sport—I was mourning the loss of my identity.

And this isn’t unique to athletes. It can happen to anyone. Maybe you tie your identity to your job, pouring everything into your career. But what happens when you get laid off or retire? Maybe your identity is rooted in a relationship, and you think of yourself only as someone’s partner or spouse. If that relationship ends, who are you? Or maybe your identity is tied to your appearance—your weight, your hair, your style. Time and circumstances can take those things away too.

The truth is, external identities are temporary. Jobs end, relationships change, appearances fade, and life evolves. 

When you build your identity on things that can be taken away, you risk losing yourself over and over again.

The turning point for me didn’t come quickly or easily. It wasn’t some dramatic moment of clarity. It was a slow process of reflection and rebuilding. I had to confront the fact that I had built my entire identity on something that wasn’t permanent. I had to let go of the idea that my worth was tied to what I could do or achieve.

To find my way back, I had to root my identity in something deeper—my soul. This meant redefining who I was based on qualities that couldn’t be taken away: my character, my resilience, and my values. I began asking myself questions that went beyond my sport:

• Who am I beyond strongman?
• What do I value most?
• What kind of person do I want to be?

Rooting my identity in my soul meant focusing on the things that define me at my core, things like integrity, compassion, and growth. It meant shifting my perspective from what I could achieve to who I was as a person.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that losing your identity isn’t a one-time thing. Life will test you again and again. You might lose a job, a relationship, or even your health. Each time, you’ll be faced with the same question: Who are you without the thing you thought defined you?

I’ve seen this in others too. The high-powered executive who loses their job and feels purposeless. The parent whose kids grow up and move out, leaving them unsure of their role. The person who ties their identity to their youthful appearance, only to struggle as they age.

This is why it’s so important to root your identity in your soul. When your identity comes from within, when it’s tied to your values, your character, and your inner strength, it can withstand life’s challenges. 

You might lose something important, but you won’t lose yourself.

Practical Steps to Reframe Identity

Rebuilding an identity rooted in the soul takes time, but it’s worth it. Here are some steps that helped me:

1. Reflect on Core Values
   Spend time thinking about what truly matters to you—not what you do or how you look, but the principles that guide your life. For me, resilience, authenticity, and kindness became my foundation.
2. Focus on Internal Growth
   Invest in your mental and emotional health. Journaling, mindfulness, and therapy helped me reconnect with myself and understand my deeper needs.
3. Embrace Change
   Learn to see change not as a threat but as an opportunity for growth. Losing my strongman identity was painful, but it forced me to find a stronger, more enduring version of myself.
4. Reconnect with Purpose
   Purpose doesn’t have to come from a job, a sport, or a relationship. It can come from helping others, learning new skills, or simply being present for the people you care about.
5. Practice Gratitude
   Gratitude helped me shift my mindset. Instead of focusing on what I’d lost, I started to appreciate what I still had—my health, my relationships, and the chance to grow.

Rooting my identity in my soul didn’t just help me recover from my injury—it gave me a strength I never knew I had. I realized that my worth wasn’t tied to my performance in the gym or the titles I earned. It was tied to my character, my purpose, and my relationships.

A soul-based identity is unshakable. Jobs, relationships, and circumstances may change, but the values and principles that define you will always remain. When you build your identity on those foundations, you become resilient in the face of life’s challenges.

Identity is powerful, but it can also be fragile if it’s rooted in external things. My journey taught me that the only unshakable identity is one rooted in the soul. When we base our identity on our core values, inner strength, and purpose, we build a foundation that no job loss, breakup, or injury can destroy.

Losing my identity as a strongman was one of the hardest experiences of my life. It led me down a dark path of depression and addiction. But it also forced me to look deeper, to discover who I truly was beyond the weights and competitions. In doing so, I found a strength that no external achievement could ever match.

This won’t be the last time life tests me. But now I know that my identity isn’t tied to anything temporary. It’s rooted in my soul, where it’s strong, unshakable, and eternal.

If you’re struggling with losing a part of your identity—whether it’s tied to a job, a relationship, or your appearance—know this: it’s not the end. It’s an opportunity to rediscover yourself and build a foundation that lasts. Root your identity in your soul, and you’ll find a strength that no external force can ever take away.

Adam Niall 

1-27-25