Authenticity

Let me start this with a painfully true statistic that you all might not like. According to recent studies, 60 percent of adults can’t go 10 minutes without lying in some capacity. Whether it’s a bold faced, hurtful lie, or it’s those little “white lies” just so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings… That sure makes you look sideways at 60% of the people in your life doesn’t it?? Well, there is hope. And that hope arrives in this article about being your authentic self.

So many of us are afraid to show our true colors, let out our true selves, in the fear of rejection, the fear of being made fun of or being made feel like we are less in some way. We are looking at this from the wrong perspective. Have you ever heard the old saying ” the right people will always find you” ? I’m sure you have heard some version of this. And it holds true every time. When you get out of your own way and find and be your most authentic self, you make it extremely easy for the right people to gravitate towards your life and even easier for the wrong ones to see their way out! This in itself can be very difficult especially when those people are family, long time friends or even coworkers or much more frightening… your spouse. Think about for a second the last time you hid your authentic self behind a mask or a lie in fear or being judged… now think about the things you aren’t telling your friends, family, or spouse in that same fear.

The internet and social media have drastically expanded our ability for self expression, however what we see on social media is not always what we truly are. We all inherently know when someone is not being authentic on social media, yet we continue to do it ourselves on a daily basis. I am for sure guilty of this and I know most of you are as well. But who would like us if we showed our true and authentic selves?? Why would anyone want to follow and “like” our journeys if we were truly us?? Why indeed…

According to leading psychology journals, Authenticity is the bedrock for well-being;

“The trait is correlated with self-esteem, purpose, vitality, and the ability to set and accomplish goals. It’s also linked to coping skills that allow people to navigate life’s challenges in healthy ways, rather than resorting to self-destructive habits such as drugs or alcohol, and it may act as a buffer against the negative effects of loneliness.”

First lets look at some of the most common traits shared by inauthentic people;

• Unrealistic perceptions of reality
• Always needing validation from others
• Constantly seeking outside approval
• Being judgmental
• Not able to learn from mistakes
• Unable to express emotions
• Unable to clearly state inner motivations

Does that sound like anyone you know? Or does it sound like you? This list almost perfectly explained me until very recently. It is difficult to see in others sometimes and even more difficult to look inward to see that we, ourselves, aren’t being our true, authentic self.

Now that we are all good and angry and in denial… HA! Let’s look at the attributes of genuinely authentic people!

• Formulating an opinion and then speaking your mind on it
• They respond to internal expectations instead of external
• Almost always genuine people forge their own path
• Recognizing and admitting their faults
• Embracing failure
• Have a solid self-esteem (not high or low but solid and unwavering)
• Not trying to make people like them
• Respectful
• Generous
• And the list goes on but I think you get the point

Real authentic and genuine people are unfortunately growing exceedingly rare in the internet and social media day-in-age. But I want you to notice the most successful people you follow on social media… and I don’t mean the richest or the ones with the most followers. I mean the ones who speak with passion about something they love, someone who turned that passion into a business or career. What do 99% of them have in common? They are authentic.

So how do we become more authentic? How do we tap into this superpower of just being unapologetically YOU?

The answer is as simple as it is the hardest thing you will ever do. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF. That is step one. The following steps will come naturally!

Keep it real and keep going!

-Adam